My daughter just…

My daughter just walked into the living room and said “Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my laptop.

Please take all of my jewellery to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters.

Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house.

Then disown me and never talk to me again. And don’t forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to my brother.”

Well, she didn’t put it quite like that… she actually said…
“Dad, this is my new boyfriend,

John came back from a safari in Africa.Upon arrival, he went to his friend Mark, and told him of his adventures:

“I was out in the jungle.” He said.

“When all of a sudden I heard a noise in the bush behind me.

Looking back, I saw a huge lion, licking his chops, and smiling at me.

The lion started coming my way and I started running, with the lion not far behind.

When the lion was almost at my neck, he suddenly slipped, and I got ahead a bit.

The lion started gaining on me, and as he got closer, once again he slipped. I happened to see a house not far away and made towards it.

As I got close to the house, the lion was almost on top of me, when he slipped for a third time.

With the very last bit of strength, I ran into the house and closed the door in the lion’s face.”

“That’s some story there, John, I would have shat my pants.”

“Well, WHAT DO YOU THINK THE LION KEPT SLIPPING ON?”

Related Posts

Older Bully Hangs Second-Grader by His Neck in School Bathroom, School District Calls It ‘Horseplay’ More in Comments ⬇

Officials at a Maryland school district are being slammed with criticism after they claimed an older bully hung a second-grader by the neck in a bathroom as…

❗Major Actress Reveals She’s Left The U.S. More in Comments ⬇️

Eva Longoria is putting America in her rearview mirror, at least for now. In an interview with Marie Claire, the actress revealed that she splits most of…

//Fast Food Giant Closing Hundreds of Stores While Renovating Rest…,,,

This popular fast-food restaurant isn’t totally shutting down every location, despite rumors that it was shuttering for good. Instead, it’s closing thousands while undergoing a major overhaul…

600,000 Bottles Of Blood Pressure Medication Recalled Over Contamination!!

600,000 Bottles Of Blood Pressure Medication Recalled Over Contamination Image via Getty Images If you’re a regular user of Ramipril, the blood pressure medication, your bottle of…

The First Three Colors You See Reveal How You Intimidate People Check the first comment ⤵️

What color did you notice first? If the first color you noticed was one of these: Grey, Purple, Yellow. If the first color you noticed was one…

This Girl Became a Successful Child Star after Bio Parents Gave Her up to Family Who Had ‘No Plans’ to Adopt

When she was a newborn, his celebrity’s biological parents placed her for adoption. Because their occupations meant more to them than raising a child, the star’s birth…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *